Cauliflower Pizza Crust Recipe !!!!

                                                                        . photo




So i got on the bullshit cauliflower fake pizza mashed potato bandwagon. AND IT WAS AMAZING!

Yesterday one of you lovely bloggers caught my attention with the cauliflower mania nonsense. I don’t know how it happened- but i fell down the rabbit hole and ended up on the other side of the world, googling cauliflower pizza crust.

I cannot stress 2 things to you enough. #1, i was SOOOO SKEPTICAL of this horseshit. and #2- it was 10000% DELICIOUS!!!!! 

I said NO WAY . I am a pizza lover, i love dough and crunch and delicious, and i said this will NOT even taste good. I don’t even LIKE cauliflower. but all these photos (everywhere, especially if you hashtag it on instagram #cauliflowercrustpizza ) looked AMAZING. like golden brown crunchy discs sent from heaven with perfectly melted cheese.

IT IS a little more work than i thought it would be, because the cauliflower gets a little messy and turns into a damn scene, but it was SOOOO WORTH IT!! its literally more than half the calories of regular pizza, and it was SO GOOD!!

photo 1 Around the edges look a little burnt, but i swear it isn’t- it just sort of gets darker because its vegetable and not actual dough. (magic)


photo 2 Its topped with sauce, cheese, and shredded chicken, and i put a few pieces of soppressatta on there for my husband. (i only snuck one, i swear. Okay 2. shut up don’t judge me)


OKAY : My recipe: 

For the Crust: half a head of cauliflower, 1/4 cup of mozzarella, 1 egg, a little sprinkle of parm cheese, any seasonings you want. I used Basil, a blended Italian seasoning, garlic salt, salt, pepper, and 5 or 6 cloves of garlic pressed in the garlic press….( you need it to really infuse flavor into the “dough”)

THIS ENTIRE PIZZA only took HALF  a head of cauliflower:
Rough chop it, throw it in the blender to “rice” it….which just means grind it up as fine as you can get it…kind of so that it looks like cous cous, or smaller than rice.  you want it really fluffy. take it out, and cook it for a few minutes, either in the microwave, for 5-8 minutes or in a skillet on the stove top with a little bit of olive oil. Personally  i find that it gets m0re flavor that way, but i’m going to try the microwave way next time- i think it might be cleaner/faster/easier. When its soft, and you think its cooked, and its actually browning a little- take it off, throw it in the freezer to cool down a little bit.( i left it in for like 5 minutes….the reason is you don’t want to put an egg on something hot, because it will start to cook and curdle.)  Then, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Strain the cauliflower into  a dish towel or cheese cloth. you want to get as much water out as you can, and squeeze, squeeze squeeze!  THEN, on a greased piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet, spread out your “dough” and create any shape or size you want. the trick here though, is the thinner you can get it- the crispier it will be. Its hard to get it even, and its easy to make holes in it, because its not really dough, so try to get it as even as possible, and as thin as possible.

THEN YOU BAKE. Now. Every recipe i read was like JUST BAKE FOR 15 MINUTES AND ITS DONE! i don’t know WHO WAS ON WHAT CRACK when they wrote that, but depending on ovens….this shit took 35-40 minutes. So its not quick. I thin i’m going to pre heat longer next time…and see if that makes a difference  I’d like to get it down to like, 20 minutes. cuz a bitch don’t have time to be waiting for this nonsense while i’m damn near fainting in the kitchen trying to not to eat the whole bag of shredded cheese.

Once its crispy and firm ( you can kind of lift it off the paper without it feeling like its going to fall apart) and its golden brown, and looks like pizza crust……add your toppings of choice! I threw on some :

– tomato sauce (quick sauce that i whipped up…..just a small can of tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil, salt, pepper, and italian seasoning…i hateeeee pre seasoned jar sauce..ick.),
-low fat mozzarella  and a little swiss and gruyer blend from trader joes (very little cuz its higher in cals)
-and shredded chicken. (prepared however youwant.)

Put the pizza under your broiler for like 2 or 3 minutes (keep an eye don’t burn) to melt the cheese, and THEN STUFF YOUR FACE!!!




21 Comments on “Cauliflower Pizza Crust Recipe !!!!”

  1. healthehelen says:

    See I’m still in the world of mashing. I’m so 2012. I need to do the pizza crust. Need to.

    • it was BRILLIANT. like i said, a little tedious of a task (a huge fucking task, actually) but i think once you do it a few times you’ll get a system that works and it’ll be way easier.

  2. Need to make this! Thanks you!

  3. Me says:

    I’ve read this 3 times and can’t figure out when to add the egg. Do you mix it in after freezing for 5 minutes or after you strain it? Lovin the blog though!

    • after you strain, and after its cold ( so after freezing.) treat it as an ingredient.It has to work to bind the “dough” together, so you wouldn’t want to mix it and then strain it all out. When its cold, its easier to work with. (because when its steaming hot from the microwave or the pan, you can’t mix it with your hands- it BURNS- learned that the hard way)

      did that help?? and thanks!!

      • Me says:

        Yes, thank you! totally trying this. Pizza is my desert island food (you know…if you could only bring one food…).

      • Oh my god girl I KNOW!!!!

        Also: since making it, I’ve made it a few other times and I find that at the end, if you stick it back in the oven, instead of just under the boiler- it will hold together really well( not burn, don’t worry) and it got REALLY crispy and stiff like real pizza!!! It’s great. give it a shot.

  4. […] via Cauliflower Pizza Crust Recipe !!!! | Losing it, without LOSING it.. […]

  5. spinmethin says:

    I love this shit! (Both the cauli pizza and your writing)

  6. Misty says:

    I have seen this time and time again and so scared to try it lol. I JUST recently tried a mashed potato version and while it wasn’t mashed potatoes I still liked it!

  7. Lori says:

    Awesome! I’ve been thinking of experimenting with the oven. This looks like fun.
    Thanks for checking out my blog.

  8. Brilliant! Sounds and looks delicious…and quite do-able

  9. I love Pizza and I haven’t eaten much of it in a long time. I so am going to give this a try! Thanks for sharing!!!

  10. I love your blog. It’s laugh out loud hilarious and I’m getting tons of ideas! Too bad I worked my arms so hard today… I don’t even have the strength to pick up the phone and order pizza let alone make all that! Um…. Wine for dinner? I think can manage a straw and a cup. I’ll just lay here and drink. Liquid diet anyone?? (Disclaimer: in case my trainers see this I’M KIDDING! Kind of). Will have to try it this weekend. Thanks!!

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I don’t know how I didn’t see this yesterday but this just CRACKED my shit up. GIRL that was me all week!!! I don’t know what was with me- I barely wanted to eat dinner, I was SO SORE I couldn’t even stand when I got home- forget COOK. Eating tuna like a fucking cat. Not my most prepared week. I needed a feeding tube. And then FAT me is always thinking ohhh well we don’t need dinner anyway, but my BRAIN knows that’s no good. THANK YOU for reading!!! It’s nice to know someone is- hahaha.

  11. SandyLand says:

    I’ve been wanting to try this recipe. I can’t wait!

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