Salad in a Jar ! With Homemade Dressing.

Photo May 14, 10 16 20 AM

 

Just wanted to throw up a quick post to say HERE’s MY salad in a jar!! I think either i need a bigger jar, or i won’t really be doing this again (even though its sickengly cute)….But I feel like i needed more room at the top for my baby spinach and afraid of what its gonna look like come lunch time! I’ll let you know.

Bottom to Top:Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Blackened shrimp from the grill, Feta, and Baby spinach

I think too, i missed the point of this, i think you’re supposed to put the dressing on the bottom or something, so you don’t HAVE to bring another little container-but I’m still afraid of soggy whatever, so i still  brought it on the side:

HOME MADE DRESSING: its just a little olive oil, a squeeze of lime, salt, pepper, thyme, and italian seasoning. super easy! sometimes i’ll use lemon instead of lime, and we can get super fancy later and talk about ones with mustard seeds, or dijon or sriracha or spicy stuff…but today, was the 30 second dressing from home. I never buy store bought anymore.

Not much else to say today…i, didn’t lose a pound last week, so i was super annoyed, even though i know BLAH BLAH BLAH all the reasons and that the scale isn’t THAT IMPORTANT AND BLAH BLAH BLAH…but i still get annoyed lol. Hoping for big loss this week. Gonna try to go really hard.

 

UGH Tuesday…and go!

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Skinny (fake) ReFried Beans Recipe! amazing substitute! Brunch.

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ALSO STARRING: SKINNY Steak and Eggs Tostadas.

OKAY. So SINCE i’m still on a tostada obsession: I whipped something up for breakfast this weekend, that was SO GOOD on saturday, i had to make it again sunday, and i made it a little different and realized that i could do anything with this base, and that it tasted JUST like refried beans that i LOVEEEE to spread on the bottom of a tostada,(and a million other things) but could ALSO be used as a base for dips, without lots of added extra crap, and the only REAL carb are the beans, and there’s no oil or anything. ENDLESS possibilities for   ALL KIND OF AMAZING SHIT!!

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Quick couple of pulses in the food processor: Onions, and red peppers.

NOTE: ON SATURDAY, i made this with Green peppers, and it was JUST as delicious. i kind of liked it better, was a little more peppery, as red peppers are a LITTLE bit sweeter. but still EQUALLY as delicious. And the color is nicer. I’m gonna try this with a million different things. I LOVE using peppers as a fake starch. I use them with onions to bulk up just about anything where i would put a potato in like, a fake hash or whatever. ITS GREAT.

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THROW pulsed onions and peppers in a pan, press in garlic. (I AM OBSESSED with a garlic press. SO fast and easy, minced fresh garlic.)
Then throw black beans ( any beans are gonna be fantastic to do this with, esp. red, but i used what i had in the house!)
Just cook down for a few minutes, till the onions are translucent and the peppers have softened, and you take that raw harsh bite taste out of everything.

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Throw sautéed mixture back into food processor. I ADDED (just cuz i was in the mood to experiment…): a serving of fat free cheddar, and a squirt of sriracha cream. (remember, i keep a squirt bottle of this made in my fridge. just a little fat free sour cream or greek yogurt, mixed with srirahca…a way to add a cream, or a little flavor with barely any cals)

BLEND. the lighting in that picture is odd, it looks like peanut butter lol- but it came out much darker: FINISHED PRODUCT OF SKINNY REFRIED BEANS :

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AND REAL QUICK: Steak and Eggs Skinny Brunch Tostadas:

Use the refried beans as a bottom layer.

Photo May 05, 12 23 39 PM EGGS (stupidly overcooked and misshapen because i was trying to take pictures instead of caring for my eggs..hahah)

Photo May 05, 12 07 52 PMREAL quick: steak for a few minutes on either side, The beauty of this, is you need very little, and then it makes soo much when you throw it in the food processor to shred!! Pulse it 3 or 4 times, it’ll up so nicely   this little amount was BARELY 4 ounces of meat, and made enough to OVERDO IT on 4 tostadas!!

shred Photo May 05, 12 19 41 PM diced tomatoes, i love to throw a little pink sea salt and cracked black pepper on them.

and BAM. Photo May 05, 12 28 54 PM Photo May 05, 12 27 46 PM

Just layer shredded steak over your spread of “skinny refried beans”, throw an egg on top, sprinkle diced tomatoes, and hit it with a little sriracha cream or sour cream, or anything you want really. Nothing is delicious too.
OKAY. i’m done with the tostada posts for now, i promise. The star of this post was REALLY the nonrefried, Refried Beans.

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH:
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ABSURD photo of where we have to put my dog, Dinno, while we’re cooking (this is from friday night’s Salmon Tartare…. recipe to come.)
He HAS to be right in the sightline of everything thats going on in the kitchen, or else he’s in and out, underfoot, wandering around, trying to inhale anything that falls off the counter, which is not only annoying, but can make him sick. EX: he’s constantly snarfs up onions, and then spits them out all over the floor, where ever he takes them to hide them, when realizes they’re gross and he doesn’t want to eat them.

My ridiculous husband started this nonsense, which at first made me mad, but now makes me laugh. He calls  the dog RATATOUILLE now, Like the mouse in the movie, who wanted to be a chef, but noone would let him. Says its Dinno’s secret dream. I say he’s just a scavenge.

RIDICULOUS.


RECIPE: Tostadas !! Chicken Tostadas or Brunch Tostadas ! SKINNY TOSTADAS !

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OKAY LISTEN UP:

I LOVE ME SOME MOTHER FUCKING MEXICAN FOOD. and all spanish food. its in my blood. All i ever want is rice and meat or anything crispy or fried. IF IT COMES IN A DOUGH: SOLD. I can’t live without it. Burritos, Tacos, Nachos, Chimichangas (fried death delicious), Empanadas, Enchiladas, and THATS RIGHT……TOSTADAS.

A tostada (for you uncultured, unenlightened, and SERIOUSLY DEPRIVED KIDS): Is basically, an open faced taco, but the shell is hard (read: fried). The best ones, are ones you get where a tortilla has been fried in old ass oil on the side of the road SUPER fresh, the flat taco shell still hot and freshly out of the oil crispy. but they also COULD BE THE DEATH OF YOU. so, we can’t eat these things in restaurants anymore, while we’re on a mission to reduce the sizes of our giant asses.

HOWEVER: eating them at home….CAN BE A JOY!!!!! AND DON’T HAVE TO BE INSANE CALORIES!!!! You can get tostada shells (flat of course) at the supermarket, and if you get the right brand ( they vary in calorie info)…the serving size is 3, ( and you only need 1 or 2), and they end up at about 50 calories for each! NOT BAD!! so for 2 shells, you’re at 100 calories, and about 10-12 carbs. SIGN ME UP ANYDAY.

OKAY. so we have that down: ImageImage

NOW BEFORE YOU START YOUR SHIT: YES, obviously they could be MORE SKINNY, if we put them on fucking lettuce leaves, but then they wouldn’t be TOSTADAS.<3 ….they’d be LETTUCE WRAPS. AND THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR THOSE.(and we love them.) but this is not that time.

Okay. Now. the usual (bless-ed) tostada: is FRIED TOSTADA SHELL, (grease and oil), REfried beans slathered on the bottom (how i love thee,) and super greasy meat, thats been cooked in oil, topped with avocado and white mexican cheese (orgasm)…..and a drizzle of mexican white Crema. (goodnight.)

WE ARE MAKING A SKINNY VERSION: AND ITS SOOOOO QUICK AND EASY!

1-SAUTTEE (OR grill-even better) Chicken breasts:
hit it with salt and pepper, and Season with Sazon for extra special spanish tastiness. i LIVE FOR THIS SHIT: Image

2- throw your chicken in a blender or food processor to shred it up: if you don’t have one, you can just chop it up like i used to do, before i got fancy and can shred it right up in my food processor: Imagemust revisit this btw: if you don’t have one of these: GET ONE. ITS 40 BUCKS, and the best 40 bucks i’ve ever spent.

3- Throw your shredded chicken back in the pan,(just some PAM cooking spray is fine, no extra oil needed) with some black beans. The chicken will get a FANTASTIC crunchy texture, and the beans remind us of slathered refried (with like, a billion times less the calories.) I like to use ONE full serving, since i know i’m making dinner for 2 people- and its like i’m eating HALF the calories.ya dig??: Image

4:While your chicken cooks, you can throw together a quick salsa, and a quick guacamole:
Note: Classic tostadas usually just have slices of avocado laid beautifull across the top, but i wanted guacamole to get more of the flavors in there (to make up for some of the super fatty shit that i’m NOT putting on this tostada.)

photo 5 Salsa: Tomatoes, white onion, cilantro, salt, pepper, squeeze of a lime,
GUAC: avocados, a little onion,a little diced tomato ,jalepeno, salt, pepper, cilantro. (you don’t need as much of all this stuff, because you DID make a salsa, and you don’t want overkill on anything.)

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: throw your chicken and beans combo on top of your tostadas!!! (measuring and weighing your food of course, so that you are within your calories)
6: Layer with Guac, and salsa, then throw a dab of fat free sour cream on top!! (its oNLY 30 calories for TWO tbsps….i always go with one, so its like cutting it in half…you’d be surprised how much and how BIG a table spoon is!!

AND BAM:

photoBeautiful and delicious skinny Tostadas. Around 450 calories, but a must to remember: is that avocado is high in calories! BUT ITS GOOOOOD FOR YOU FATS!!

THOUGHT YOU’D LIKE A SHOT OF MY MESSY KITCHEN WHILE THIS WAS GOING ON:

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and below: A brunch tostada shot! I only eat one tostada when having it as breakfast/brunch. Get the idea here? you can put ANYTHING YOU WANT on top of tostadas! i made kind of a fake Hash….. with a little turkey bacon, chopped up, onions, peppers, and there might be a little turkey pepporoni sautéed in there with it. 2 Eggs on top, heirloom tomatos, and drizzled over, is a Sriracha cream!!! (My new favorite thing to make) i keep a squirt bottle of it around….its just a little bit of fat free sour cream, mixed with sriracha…makes a spicy, yet cool topping for NEARLY ANYTHING!!!!! OJ is Trop 50, CUT with seltzer (its like having a mimosa i SWEAR, but for 25 calories instead and half the sugar.)
brunch
Have a good weekend! Maybe i’ll post some more brunch nonsense next post, since tomorrow is saturday and all.


Mini Frittata (egg “muffins”) recipe !!

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RECIPE BELOW:

HEY Y’ALL. 

Its sunny today, OMG. that makes me super happy. I am the nastiest, most miserable bitch when its gray and rainy, i have 0 motivation to go to the gym, and all i want to do is hole up and eat chips on the couch, snarling at anyone who comes too close to try to take my bag away. 

But when its sunny, i want to wear neon work out clothes that match and skip to the gym,  and work out for hours and hours and eat quinoa and spinach!!!!
 (not really, but at least DRAGGING my fat body there doesn’t seem like i’m being pulled toward the guillotine wrapped in chains.) 

SO, i needed a new breakfast option at work. I am SO LUCKY, that where i work, has million free food options, like 4 cereals for breakfast, every kind of milk from fat free, 1%,2%,Whole, soy and almond……bagels, avocados, greek yogurts, granolas, the best bread on the planet to make toast(devil) with delivered, and tons of fresh fruit…apples, oranges, bananas etc. The problem is, when your’e trying to REALLY see numbers move on the scale, eating cereal every day, gets A- monotonous, and B- a little too carby. ALSO, even though i keep a measuring cup in my drawer, i always end up eating too much of it- and the rasin-bran-crunchy/golean-crunchy/grain-flax-superstar-whatever cereal , while good for you- is like 300 calories after you add milk, and all you had was cereal, and your’e left a little hungry. I also felt like it was TOO MANY carbs, and even though its early enough in the day, i feel like maybe its got something to do with not seeing the scale move.  I felt like i was needing more protein/less carbs to start my day. Lastly, i wanted to cut back on the dairy. I usually use almond milk, but sometimes, if there isn’t any, i have to use regular, and then i feel bloated….SO CUT TO: the mini frittata! 

I already carry a billion tupperware and baggies of food for lunch/snacks and whatever else in my massive bag, so why not one more, with breakfast in it. 

THEN so many people started asking how to make them, when they really are the easiest thing in the world. Mix anything you want with eggs in a bowl, and pour them into a muffin tin. bake, baggie, and bring to work! Not brain science. But here goes: 

MUFFIN TIN FRITTATAS: Image
here you’ll see, I’ve lined a muffin tine with cupcake holders, and after crisping up my turkey bacon (i like the “everyday thin and crispY”…its only 30 calories for 2 slices!)
i let them dry, and popped them in the food processor. HOME MADE BACON BITS. GOODNIGHT. OMG. also in the food processor, a little onions, and garlic. NO CHOPPING=HAPPIEST HUMAN ALIVE.

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  •         1. SUPER CUTE CUPCAKE HOLDERS.

i like getting to look at super colorful damask cupcake holders, because it makes me feel like i’m eating something really decadent. And when other people see them, they go OOOOOHHHH WHAT IS THAT! ALSO, they were 1.99 at home goods, so thats really why. 

  • 2. Drain black beans! RINSE them. get all that salty canned yuck off them. Unless you’re Mother Teresa and you plan on soaking and boiling your own beans. MORE POWER TO YOU. But for bitches who aint got time for all that noise, GOYA will do JUST fine.( i’m not on a high horse about organic lalalala… i have a packed schedule, gym after work 5 days a week, a full time job, a show, a husband and a dog. Its a miracle i find time to pull these recipes out of my ass at all.

3.Whisk together:  8 eggs, ( you can use egg whites if you are on  a mission…but i need ALL the protein and flavor of the egg.), 1/4 cup of shredded fat free cheddar(which is the exact serving size, so spread out over 12 egg cups, is really nothing…just a little flavor…honestly, you could probably do without it and wouldn’t miss it, i may leave it out next time…) I threw in some chopped up heirloom tomatoes, Salt, and Pepper and : 

4. 1 Chicken sausage, browned in the pan( just PAM spray, no oil!) I cut them up and tossed them in the pan. It looks like a lot, because i was making 2 sausages, one for my salad for the next day, and one for the frittatas. 

NEXT FILL THE TINS!: 
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Just pour your whisked together mixture right into the tins, and i put 2 little circles of sausage into each tin ( if you try to pour them in you’ll get like 3 in one, and none in some…so i just placed them in by hand. this takes like, 30 seconds.)

AND BAKE! for about 30 minutes, depending on how ghetto your oven is. Until they have that gold delicious color and look like this: 

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They rise a little bit, but not too much. They are AMAZING. 

here’s BASICALLY nutritional info: Image each little muffin is about 87 calories, and 3 of them is 261 cals, which is the PERFECT breakfast! they fill you up cuz of the protein, and you feel like you are eating something illegal they taste so good. 

You can eat them on the run, grab them to go, pack em, and store em. I love them! 

enjoy! 

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Cauliflower Pizza Crust Recipe !!!!

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RECIPE AT THE BOTTOM

OKAY….

So i got on the bullshit cauliflower fake pizza mashed potato bandwagon. AND IT WAS AMAZING!

Yesterday one of you lovely bloggers caught my attention with the cauliflower mania nonsense. I don’t know how it happened- but i fell down the rabbit hole and ended up on the other side of the world, googling cauliflower pizza crust.

I cannot stress 2 things to you enough. #1, i was SOOOO SKEPTICAL of this horseshit. and #2- it was 10000% DELICIOUS!!!!! 

I said NO WAY . I am a pizza lover, i love dough and crunch and delicious, and i said this will NOT even taste good. I don’t even LIKE cauliflower. but all these photos (everywhere, especially if you hashtag it on instagram #cauliflowercrustpizza ) looked AMAZING. like golden brown crunchy discs sent from heaven with perfectly melted cheese.

IT IS a little more work than i thought it would be, because the cauliflower gets a little messy and turns into a damn scene, but it was SOOOO WORTH IT!! its literally more than half the calories of regular pizza, and it was SO GOOD!!

photo 1 Around the edges look a little burnt, but i swear it isn’t- it just sort of gets darker because its vegetable and not actual dough. (magic)

 

photo 2 Its topped with sauce, cheese, and shredded chicken, and i put a few pieces of soppressatta on there for my husband. (i only snuck one, i swear. Okay 2. shut up don’t judge me)

 

OKAY : My recipe: 

For the Crust: half a head of cauliflower, 1/4 cup of mozzarella, 1 egg, a little sprinkle of parm cheese, any seasonings you want. I used Basil, a blended Italian seasoning, garlic salt, salt, pepper, and 5 or 6 cloves of garlic pressed in the garlic press….( you need it to really infuse flavor into the “dough”)

THIS ENTIRE PIZZA only took HALF  a head of cauliflower:
Rough chop it, throw it in the blender to “rice” it….which just means grind it up as fine as you can get it…kind of so that it looks like cous cous, or smaller than rice.  you want it really fluffy. take it out, and cook it for a few minutes, either in the microwave, for 5-8 minutes or in a skillet on the stove top with a little bit of olive oil. Personally  i find that it gets m0re flavor that way, but i’m going to try the microwave way next time- i think it might be cleaner/faster/easier. When its soft, and you think its cooked, and its actually browning a little- take it off, throw it in the freezer to cool down a little bit.( i left it in for like 5 minutes….the reason is you don’t want to put an egg on something hot, because it will start to cook and curdle.)  Then, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Strain the cauliflower into  a dish towel or cheese cloth. you want to get as much water out as you can, and squeeze, squeeze squeeze!  THEN, on a greased piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet, spread out your “dough” and create any shape or size you want. the trick here though, is the thinner you can get it- the crispier it will be. Its hard to get it even, and its easy to make holes in it, because its not really dough, so try to get it as even as possible, and as thin as possible.

THEN YOU BAKE. Now. Every recipe i read was like JUST BAKE FOR 15 MINUTES AND ITS DONE! i don’t know WHO WAS ON WHAT CRACK when they wrote that, but depending on ovens….this shit took 35-40 minutes. So its not quick. I thin i’m going to pre heat longer next time…and see if that makes a difference  I’d like to get it down to like, 20 minutes. cuz a bitch don’t have time to be waiting for this nonsense while i’m damn near fainting in the kitchen trying to not to eat the whole bag of shredded cheese.

Once its crispy and firm ( you can kind of lift it off the paper without it feeling like its going to fall apart) and its golden brown, and looks like pizza crust……add your toppings of choice! I threw on some :

– tomato sauce (quick sauce that i whipped up…..just a small can of tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil, salt, pepper, and italian seasoning…i hateeeee pre seasoned jar sauce..ick.),
-low fat mozzarella  and a little swiss and gruyer blend from trader joes (very little cuz its higher in cals)
-and shredded chicken. (prepared however youwant.)

Put the pizza under your broiler for like 2 or 3 minutes (keep an eye don’t burn) to melt the cheese, and THEN STUFF YOUR FACE!!!