Cauliflower Pizza Crust Recipe !!!!

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RECIPE AT THE BOTTOM

OKAY….

So i got on the bullshit cauliflower fake pizza mashed potato bandwagon. AND IT WAS AMAZING!

Yesterday one of you lovely bloggers caught my attention with the cauliflower mania nonsense. I don’t know how it happened- but i fell down the rabbit hole and ended up on the other side of the world, googling cauliflower pizza crust.

I cannot stress 2 things to you enough. #1, i was SOOOO SKEPTICAL of this horseshit. and #2- it was 10000% DELICIOUS!!!!! 

I said NO WAY . I am a pizza lover, i love dough and crunch and delicious, and i said this will NOT even taste good. I don’t even LIKE cauliflower. but all these photos (everywhere, especially if you hashtag it on instagram #cauliflowercrustpizza ) looked AMAZING. like golden brown crunchy discs sent from heaven with perfectly melted cheese.

IT IS a little more work than i thought it would be, because the cauliflower gets a little messy and turns into a damn scene, but it was SOOOO WORTH IT!! its literally more than half the calories of regular pizza, and it was SO GOOD!!

photo 1 Around the edges look a little burnt, but i swear it isn’t- it just sort of gets darker because its vegetable and not actual dough. (magic)

 

photo 2 Its topped with sauce, cheese, and shredded chicken, and i put a few pieces of soppressatta on there for my husband. (i only snuck one, i swear. Okay 2. shut up don’t judge me)

 

OKAY : My recipe: 

For the Crust: half a head of cauliflower, 1/4 cup of mozzarella, 1 egg, a little sprinkle of parm cheese, any seasonings you want. I used Basil, a blended Italian seasoning, garlic salt, salt, pepper, and 5 or 6 cloves of garlic pressed in the garlic press….( you need it to really infuse flavor into the “dough”)

THIS ENTIRE PIZZA only took HALF  a head of cauliflower:
Rough chop it, throw it in the blender to “rice” it….which just means grind it up as fine as you can get it…kind of so that it looks like cous cous, or smaller than rice.  you want it really fluffy. take it out, and cook it for a few minutes, either in the microwave, for 5-8 minutes or in a skillet on the stove top with a little bit of olive oil. Personally  i find that it gets m0re flavor that way, but i’m going to try the microwave way next time- i think it might be cleaner/faster/easier. When its soft, and you think its cooked, and its actually browning a little- take it off, throw it in the freezer to cool down a little bit.( i left it in for like 5 minutes….the reason is you don’t want to put an egg on something hot, because it will start to cook and curdle.)  Then, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Strain the cauliflower into  a dish towel or cheese cloth. you want to get as much water out as you can, and squeeze, squeeze squeeze!  THEN, on a greased piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet, spread out your “dough” and create any shape or size you want. the trick here though, is the thinner you can get it- the crispier it will be. Its hard to get it even, and its easy to make holes in it, because its not really dough, so try to get it as even as possible, and as thin as possible.

THEN YOU BAKE. Now. Every recipe i read was like JUST BAKE FOR 15 MINUTES AND ITS DONE! i don’t know WHO WAS ON WHAT CRACK when they wrote that, but depending on ovens….this shit took 35-40 minutes. So its not quick. I thin i’m going to pre heat longer next time…and see if that makes a difference  I’d like to get it down to like, 20 minutes. cuz a bitch don’t have time to be waiting for this nonsense while i’m damn near fainting in the kitchen trying to not to eat the whole bag of shredded cheese.

Once its crispy and firm ( you can kind of lift it off the paper without it feeling like its going to fall apart) and its golden brown, and looks like pizza crust……add your toppings of choice! I threw on some :

– tomato sauce (quick sauce that i whipped up…..just a small can of tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil, salt, pepper, and italian seasoning…i hateeeee pre seasoned jar sauce..ick.),
-low fat mozzarella  and a little swiss and gruyer blend from trader joes (very little cuz its higher in cals)
-and shredded chicken. (prepared however youwant.)

Put the pizza under your broiler for like 2 or 3 minutes (keep an eye don’t burn) to melt the cheese, and THEN STUFF YOUR FACE!!!

 

 

 

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8lbs down!! lots of PICTURES OF FOOD!

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thats right kids, 8 POUNDS total so far! so, weigh in was supposed to be today- but i couldn’t wait and i got on the scale on Saturday, and i had lost 5 pounds!!!! 5 pounds last week!!! so i was scared, that i would get on this morning, and it would be a fluke and i’d actually still own those 5lbs, but i didn’t!!! and actually, it was one pound less!!! ( but because i’m psychotic, i’m not counting that pound, cuz i don’t trust that its really gone lolol…we’ll see in next week’s weigh in.)  so yes….it could technically be 6…but we’ll see.

SO that means, that 2 weeks have FINALLY  passed…which was initially my first tiny goal. It was just GET THROUGH 2 WEEKS finally. Because after 2 weeks, anything becomes a habit, and then you aren’t fighting through first 3 days of hunger/horrible cravings and headache… or

“oh it hasn’t actually been that long anyway- i’ll just eat this SUNNY DOODLE or twinkie, and start over tomorrow”
Because NOW….i’m like “i DO NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THE FIRST 2 WEEKS OF THIS AGAIN.”
i’d rather put my head through a brick wall. And now i’ve seen a little success, and i want more so BAM.

You see, I’ve been on this Image  back and forth for MONTHS, GOING to the gym, but eating like shit…stopping and starting, lying to myself and telling myself that i WAS eating healthy WHEN I KNOW BETTER. and still, always feeling gross and uncomfortable…not losing a pound and wondering why (all the while actually knowing, that i wasn’t going balls to the walls all out like i know i have to to see any results at all.) and now, I’m finally seeing results, and I’m EFFING THRILLED. I’m assuming next week will only be like a 1 or 2 pound loss, but I’ll take it…(and that would put me at 10 official pounds lost, since starting this all over again, and I’ll JUMP FOR JOY.)

ANYWAY.

FOOD!

1 day off a week is NOT enough…I don’t really have my saturdays to myself because i have to get up early and haul it downtown for the show, and right after that, i go to tap and by the time i get home i am WIPE THE F OUT.

Friday night: i made these oat cookies from http://blueberrygirlinoz.blogspot.com/2010/05/no-sugar-oat-drops.html
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they are super high in fiber, protein, no sugar, butter or bad stuff. Great for breakfast, or a really filling in between meal snack…about 120 cals a cookie (cuz i made them double the size, i think they were supposed to be smaller.)ALSO: i’d like to post a picture of the coconut i used….these cookies have unsweetened coconut flakes… I LOVE USING unsweetened coconut in a few different recipes  which i’d like to say i managed to find a reduced fat version of, making them EVEN more amazing. i was veryhappy.literally like 40-50 cals less than the regular one: Image

then, yesterday, i went a little nuts. All day i was inspired to cook
i made brunch in the morning:
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YOU SHOULD KNOW, i am OBSESSED.WITH.TOSTADAS. Any thing i can put on top of a crunchy tortilla, i will and don’t try to stop me. Sadly, my fat gut can no longer continue my love affair with tostadas.SO  i found these low carb, 50 calorie veggie tortillas…i threw them in the oven and they got brown and SUPER crispy=TOSTADA LOVE!!! then i made a hash. NO POTATOES, but i used veggie crumbles, red pepper and onion (thats it!) and i swear to god, it tasted JUST like cornbeefhash!!! then, instead of making it sort of omlettey (thats a word. no. its not.) like i usually do…I made little holes for the eggs, cracked em in, and threw the whole pan in the oven, and baked the eggs. Then i topped the whole thing with a little quick Guac and a piece of turkey bacon. (which i woke up like, CLAWING MY WAY TO THE KITCHEN looking for. can you say craving??) it was amazing.

Last NIGHT, my kitchen was like Top Chef i swear. i was running around like a MANIAC, making 5 dishes all at once. For Dinner: was making a filet of Cod, with a mixed greens salad( a little goat cheese, black beans and onions)….and THESE TOMATOES: !!!!! : Image

THEY WERE AMAZING!!! all it was, was tomatoes: topped with a little Parmesan cheese, oregano, salt, pepper, a little general italian garlic seasoning and a drizzle of olive oil. in the oven, and they come out crusted and delicious, and TASTED LIKE PIZZA i swear!! THEY WERE amazinggggg with the fish! I SWEAR, i wanna make these with everything. AND the best part is, they only have like, 20 calories !!!! going IN on these.

AND FINALLY……
the moment YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR….to diiiiieeeee for….

PUMPKIN MOUSSE!!!!!! :

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I’m leaving this photo as large as it is, so you can see it in its FULL GLORY…FROM THE BLOG: http://www.eat-yourself-skinny.com/2011/11/pumpkin-mousse-shooters.html

SO EASY and SO EFFING DELICIOUS!!! its just a can of pumpkin, a package of sugar free fat free vanilla pudding, 2 oz of cream cheese, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and nutmeg (like DASH literally of each) and some cool whip, folded INTO the mousse…then layered in the glass. the whole thing is about a half a cup. ( 1/4 on top, and 1/4 on the bottom)
And let me TELL YOU.

IT WAS TO DIE FOR!!!

ALRIGHT, i have to leave you now…because I’m literally sitting at work, blogging like THATS what i get paid to do.
and this has certainly been long enough.

BUT do yourself a favor and TRY THE PUMPKIN!! its like a pie in a glass while laying in Heaven on a cloud with a harp and unicorns. (maybe not. but still. its effing delish.)