RECIPE AT THE BOTTOM
So i got on the bullshit cauliflower fake pizza mashed potato bandwagon. AND IT WAS AMAZING!
Yesterday one of you lovely bloggers caught my attention with the cauliflower mania nonsense. I don’t know how it happened- but i fell down the rabbit hole and ended up on the other side of the world, googling cauliflower pizza crust.
I cannot stress 2 things to you enough. #1, i was SOOOO SKEPTICAL of this horseshit. and #2- it was 10000% DELICIOUS!!!!!
I said NO WAY . I am a pizza lover, i love dough and crunch and delicious, and i said this will NOT even taste good. I don’t even LIKE cauliflower. but all these photos (everywhere, especially if you hashtag it on instagram #cauliflowercrustpizza ) looked AMAZING. like golden brown crunchy discs sent from heaven with perfectly melted cheese.
IT IS a little more work than i thought it would be, because the cauliflower gets a little messy and turns into a damn scene, but it was SOOOO WORTH IT!! its literally more than half the calories of regular pizza, and it was SO GOOD!!
OKAY : My recipe:
For the Crust: half a head of cauliflower, 1/4 cup of mozzarella, 1 egg, a little sprinkle of parm cheese, any seasonings you want. I used Basil, a blended Italian seasoning, garlic salt, salt, pepper, and 5 or 6 cloves of garlic pressed in the garlic press….( you need it to really infuse flavor into the “dough”)
THIS ENTIRE PIZZA only took HALF a head of cauliflower:
Rough chop it, throw it in the blender to “rice” it….which just means grind it up as fine as you can get it…kind of so that it looks like cous cous, or smaller than rice. you want it really fluffy. take it out, and cook it for a few minutes, either in the microwave, for 5-8 minutes or in a skillet on the stove top with a little bit of olive oil. Personally i find that it gets m0re flavor that way, but i’m going to try the microwave way next time- i think it might be cleaner/faster/easier. When its soft, and you think its cooked, and its actually browning a little- take it off, throw it in the freezer to cool down a little bit.( i left it in for like 5 minutes….the reason is you don’t want to put an egg on something hot, because it will start to cook and curdle.) Then, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Strain the cauliflower into a dish towel or cheese cloth. you want to get as much water out as you can, and squeeze, squeeze squeeze! THEN, on a greased piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet, spread out your “dough” and create any shape or size you want. the trick here though, is the thinner you can get it- the crispier it will be. Its hard to get it even, and its easy to make holes in it, because its not really dough, so try to get it as even as possible, and as thin as possible.
THEN YOU BAKE. Now. Every recipe i read was like JUST BAKE FOR 15 MINUTES AND ITS DONE! i don’t know WHO WAS ON WHAT CRACK when they wrote that, but depending on ovens….this shit took 35-40 minutes. So its not quick. I thin i’m going to pre heat longer next time…and see if that makes a difference I’d like to get it down to like, 20 minutes. cuz a bitch don’t have time to be waiting for this nonsense while i’m damn near fainting in the kitchen trying to not to eat the whole bag of shredded cheese.
Once its crispy and firm ( you can kind of lift it off the paper without it feeling like its going to fall apart) and its golden brown, and looks like pizza crust……add your toppings of choice! I threw on some :
– tomato sauce (quick sauce that i whipped up…..just a small can of tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil, salt, pepper, and italian seasoning…i hateeeee pre seasoned jar sauce..ick.),
-low fat mozzarella and a little swiss and gruyer blend from trader joes (very little cuz its higher in cals)
-and shredded chicken. (prepared however youwant.)
Put the pizza under your broiler for like 2 or 3 minutes (keep an eye don’t burn) to melt the cheese, and THEN STUFF YOUR FACE!!!