social life vs diet?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

SOOOOOOOOOO WORD PRESS FAILS?!!?!?!?! twiceeeee  now, i have had 2 entries written out, and it doesn’t auto save your drafts, like gmail does- and everything got deleted. WOMP WOMP.

anyway:

THIS WEEK, in the life of the rehabilitating fat… HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH HAVING A LIFE WHILE DOING THIS?!?!

i mean, here’s what happens with me: everytime i’m on the wagon:  i feel like i need to hibernate 100%…i focus into my routine of cooking like crazy, going straight to the gym and straight home and passing out early cuz i don’t have much energy for anything else, and i don’t quite know how to handle social situations. Tuesday night, i had dinner with some friends ( one of my dearest is finally home from the evil west coast, and we had dinner.) i stressed that i needed to eat really healthy and just wanted to get a salad, and i think i did pretty damn good!? i ate some damn greens, and had a few damn pieces of calamari so that i didn’t feel like I WASN’T ALLOWED (WHICH i promise would have been followed by pouting and huffing and puffing and eventual binging and  gorging, because i am not a normal person) and i had ONE GLASS OF WINE! which i promised myself i would have no more than, and i didn’t. when all i ever want to have while out to dinner is one BOTTLE of wine. TO MYSELF. so i’d say, the night was a win. i had been feeling bad because i didn’t work out, but i DID walk 19 blocks and 3 avenues in both directions so thats got to count for something. ( my poor broken stupid feet for walking in gold glitter flats.)
OH! and I WAS carrying a 5 pound bag of dog food. so that HAS to count for something lol!

anyway. i need to find a way to be strong over the weekend, fit all the workouts in, and stick to a strict eating plan, so that i still manage to lose something this week.

how do you deal with temptation at birthday parties?? with it being Saturday and wanting to go a little nuts with one of your best friends  you haven’t seen in months!! when its bad timing, because you’ve just started to get REALLY focused and are trying to meet goals?? I had set a few mini goals, and one of the 3rd ones, is HER 30th birthday party, which is in about a month, and i’d like to be at a certain weight by then?! i need help. How do i get through life without hiding under the covers, waiting for the pounds to fall off my fat ass, and avoiding the outside world???
i need to save all my calorie splurging for those REALLY special occasions. what am i supposed to do in between?!! dig a hole and put my head underground?!

i hate feeling this way. am i skinny yet?!?!?!