SO YESTERDAY IT WAS HOT AS BALLS IN NEW YORK CITY.
The beginning of death-by-humidity-and-chaffing season here.
ANYWAY- we had a friend over for lunch and we bbq’d so kept it pretty calorie light ( grilling always does, that makes me happy)…but i wanted to make a dessert that didn’t require baking and TURNING THE OVEN ON-UGHHHHHH)
YOGURT: i used about 9 oz of plain 0% greek yogurt, that i mixed with a little vanilla extract, and literally a tbsp (which was more than enough) of sugar free/fat free vanilla jello pudding mix. that sweetened it right up, made it taste like CAKE! SO good, and keeps the sugar and cals out of the yogurt. I think the original recipe called for any vanilla yogurt. You can use WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT!
- I PUREED, in my food processor: (see photo) 1 banana and about 8 strawberries.
- fill half the cups with yogurt, top with the purree so no white is showing
- top with a dollop of either yogurt, or whipped cream- ( i did half and half. the whipped cream freezes deliciously, but i think i’ll stick with the yogurt to keep cals down.)
- FREEZE for about an hour
the first round we ate a little prematurely, but the outside was froen and the inside was gooey. i honestly preferred it this way, they were DELICIOUS. and the fruit froze perfectly. The second round we ate, were completely frozen. i say let them thaw out for 10 minutes before actually eating. I’d like to experiment with putting these on pops, or sticks.
SO GOOD! enjoy!
original recipe credit goes to : http://www.fitsugar.com/Low-Calorie-Ice-Cream-Cupcakes-28553112Note that her photos are like, beautiful and professional. mine are melting on my hands, and fuzzy. hahaha.
ALSO STARRING: SKINNY Steak and Eggs Tostadas.
OKAY. So SINCE i’m still on a tostada obsession: I whipped something up for breakfast this weekend, that was SO GOOD on saturday, i had to make it again sunday, and i made it a little different and realized that i could do anything with this base, and that it tasted JUST like refried beans that i LOVEEEE to spread on the bottom of a tostada,(and a million other things) but could ALSO be used as a base for dips, without lots of added extra crap, and the only REAL carb are the beans, and there’s no oil or anything. ENDLESS possibilities for ALL KIND OF AMAZING SHIT!!
Quick couple of pulses in the food processor: Onions, and red peppers.
NOTE: ON SATURDAY, i made this with Green peppers, and it was JUST as delicious. i kind of liked it better, was a little more peppery, as red peppers are a LITTLE bit sweeter. but still EQUALLY as delicious. And the color is nicer. I’m gonna try this with a million different things. I LOVE using peppers as a fake starch. I use them with onions to bulk up just about anything where i would put a potato in like, a fake hash or whatever. ITS GREAT.
THROW pulsed onions and peppers in a pan, press in garlic. (I AM OBSESSED with a garlic press. SO fast and easy, minced fresh garlic.)
Then throw black beans ( any beans are gonna be fantastic to do this with, esp. red, but i used what i had in the house!)
Just cook down for a few minutes, till the onions are translucent and the peppers have softened, and you take that raw harsh bite taste out of everything.
Throw sautéed mixture back into food processor. I ADDED (just cuz i was in the mood to experiment…): a serving of fat free cheddar, and a squirt of sriracha cream. (remember, i keep a squirt bottle of this made in my fridge. just a little fat free sour cream or greek yogurt, mixed with srirahca…a way to add a cream, or a little flavor with barely any cals)
BLEND. the lighting in that picture is odd, it looks like peanut butter lol- but it came out much darker: FINISHED PRODUCT OF SKINNY REFRIED BEANS :
AND REAL QUICK: Steak and Eggs Skinny Brunch Tostadas:
Use the refried beans as a bottom layer.
REAL quick: steak for a few minutes on either side, The beauty of this, is you need very little, and then it makes soo much when you throw it in the food processor to shred!! Pulse it 3 or 4 times, it’ll up so nicely this little amount was BARELY 4 ounces of meat, and made enough to OVERDO IT on 4 tostadas!!
Just layer shredded steak over your spread of “skinny refried beans”, throw an egg on top, sprinkle diced tomatoes, and hit it with a little sriracha cream or sour cream, or anything you want really. Nothing is delicious too.
OKAY. i’m done with the tostada posts for now, i promise. The star of this post was REALLY the nonrefried, Refried Beans.
ABSURD photo of where we have to put my dog, Dinno, while we’re cooking (this is from friday night’s Salmon Tartare…. recipe to come.)
He HAS to be right in the sightline of everything thats going on in the kitchen, or else he’s in and out, underfoot, wandering around, trying to inhale anything that falls off the counter, which is not only annoying, but can make him sick. EX: he’s constantly snarfs up onions, and then spits them out all over the floor, where ever he takes them to hide them, when realizes they’re gross and he doesn’t want to eat them.
My ridiculous husband started this nonsense, which at first made me mad, but now makes me laugh. He calls the dog RATATOUILLE now, Like the mouse in the movie, who wanted to be a chef, but noone would let him. Says its Dinno’s secret dream. I say he’s just a scavenge.
As you maybe can tell, i love stuff. I love gadgets, and stuff, and tools, and things and basically ANY DAMN THING that i can use to track, count, weigh, and will make life easier/is cute/when i look at it, makes me think of working out. Lord knows there’s enough to think about against me.
These kinds of things, also keep me motivated.
As you may know already, i have a FITBIT-(see earlier post, and a polar Ft4 heart rate monitor.Top 2 boxes above. And i’m NOT ashamed to say that a few of YOU FELLOW BLOGGERS inspired a few of these purchases. I love these things. Every day they are more motivating. The heart rate monitor has been A GAME CHANGER. i can’t tell you…WHILE i’m working out, if i know i’m not pushing myself enough, or i see a number, and know i wanna get to 100 more cals burned or something, it pushes me to move faster, push harder, jump more-etc. I LOVE that i can go back and look at them, compare for example, how long its taking me to ride to and from work,and how many cals i burn, and how its changing. Its great. If you don’t have one, get one- it’ll change your work outs forever.
Also, just knowing that i have it, makes me wanna
lay down on the couch and eat ice cream go use it, and work out.(annoying skinny girl voice.)
My newest addition to the STUFF TO MAKE YOU SKINNY family of gadgets and tools and junk: is my food scale!!
It’s Bamboo, and super helpful: it has amazing features like: you can easily switch from grams, to ounces, to ML, and it has a “tare” option, which lets you set a bowl or a glass or something down on it, and it levels if off to 0-to accurately ONLY weigh whats inside the glass or bowl. COOL RIGHT?? So you can actually see how many actual ounces of
booze orange juice or whatever you’re drinking.
I’VE BEEN WANTING ONE for so long, and i dont know why i didn’t just get one. It is SOOOO good!! AND ALSO, i thought i was going to find out that i was eating way more of certain things than i actually was- and its been THE TOTAL OPPOSITE! turns out i’ve been eating like, HALF the portions of certain things. Like string beans (featured in photo) I’ve been logging a cup, for example…and actually EATING like, the amount above. Same goes for chicken breasts, ground chicken, and fish. I was totally underestimating. Which brings me to 2 conclusions. 1– I don’t always need full huge servings, but 2-I’ve been getting headaches, and feeling a little too hungry on some days, after some meals- and now i know why. But this is fantastic. Its a great way to accurately cut calories on portions, or figure out how much of WHATEVER you’re eating or not eating. DEF. keeps you accountable. no more guessing game.
AND FINALLY: this keeps me motivated:
We were running around target last sunday, and found these suuuuppppperrrrrr cute dry erase markers, that hang on magnets on the fridge. I write down the lbs lost for that week ending on my little Leonx (THANKS MOM, you didn’t really think i could afford to BUY something lenox for my home, JUST BECAUSE, right?? a bitch is BROKE.) dry erase board.
DISCLAIMER: SUPER CHEESEY: I have to admit, this is something my husband started, a really long time ago, when i started down this weight loss road a couple of years ago, and i found that i enjoyed it SOOO much. I would come out of the bathroom from weigh in day-SUPER CORNY AND EXCITED, and tell him how many pounds i lost, and then he would write it down on this little thing. we stopped doing it, (because i got lazy and stopped losing weight, but this time- we’re in it to win it.)FASTFOWARD: RECENTLY, we moved into our new apartment and was heart broken, because i thought i lost this little thing. I JUST FOUND IT THE OTHER DAY! So we’ve just started writing them down again, starting with last week’s 4lb loss 🙂
stay strong, dumplings.<3
(WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT FOOD. why couldn’t i call you all treadmills, or something?!?!?!)
RECIPE AT THE BOTTOM
So i got on the bullshit cauliflower fake pizza mashed potato bandwagon. AND IT WAS AMAZING!
Yesterday one of you lovely bloggers caught my attention with the cauliflower mania nonsense. I don’t know how it happened- but i fell down the rabbit hole and ended up on the other side of the world, googling cauliflower pizza crust.
I cannot stress 2 things to you enough. #1, i was SOOOO SKEPTICAL of this horseshit. and #2- it was 10000% DELICIOUS!!!!!
I said NO WAY . I am a pizza lover, i love dough and crunch and delicious, and i said this will NOT even taste good. I don’t even LIKE cauliflower. but all these photos (everywhere, especially if you hashtag it on instagram #cauliflowercrustpizza ) looked AMAZING. like golden brown crunchy discs sent from heaven with perfectly melted cheese.
IT IS a little more work than i thought it would be, because the cauliflower gets a little messy and turns into a damn scene, but it was SOOOO WORTH IT!! its literally more than half the calories of regular pizza, and it was SO GOOD!!
OKAY : My recipe:
For the Crust: half a head of cauliflower, 1/4 cup of mozzarella, 1 egg, a little sprinkle of parm cheese, any seasonings you want. I used Basil, a blended Italian seasoning, garlic salt, salt, pepper, and 5 or 6 cloves of garlic pressed in the garlic press….( you need it to really infuse flavor into the “dough”)
THIS ENTIRE PIZZA only took HALF a head of cauliflower:
Rough chop it, throw it in the blender to “rice” it….which just means grind it up as fine as you can get it…kind of so that it looks like cous cous, or smaller than rice. you want it really fluffy. take it out, and cook it for a few minutes, either in the microwave, for 5-8 minutes or in a skillet on the stove top with a little bit of olive oil. Personally i find that it gets m0re flavor that way, but i’m going to try the microwave way next time- i think it might be cleaner/faster/easier. When its soft, and you think its cooked, and its actually browning a little- take it off, throw it in the freezer to cool down a little bit.( i left it in for like 5 minutes….the reason is you don’t want to put an egg on something hot, because it will start to cook and curdle.) Then, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Strain the cauliflower into a dish towel or cheese cloth. you want to get as much water out as you can, and squeeze, squeeze squeeze! THEN, on a greased piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet, spread out your “dough” and create any shape or size you want. the trick here though, is the thinner you can get it- the crispier it will be. Its hard to get it even, and its easy to make holes in it, because its not really dough, so try to get it as even as possible, and as thin as possible.
THEN YOU BAKE. Now. Every recipe i read was like JUST BAKE FOR 15 MINUTES AND ITS DONE! i don’t know WHO WAS ON WHAT CRACK when they wrote that, but depending on ovens….this shit took 35-40 minutes. So its not quick. I thin i’m going to pre heat longer next time…and see if that makes a difference I’d like to get it down to like, 20 minutes. cuz a bitch don’t have time to be waiting for this nonsense while i’m damn near fainting in the kitchen trying to not to eat the whole bag of shredded cheese.
Once its crispy and firm ( you can kind of lift it off the paper without it feeling like its going to fall apart) and its golden brown, and looks like pizza crust……add your toppings of choice! I threw on some :
– tomato sauce (quick sauce that i whipped up…..just a small can of tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil, salt, pepper, and italian seasoning…i hateeeee pre seasoned jar sauce..ick.),
-low fat mozzarella and a little swiss and gruyer blend from trader joes (very little cuz its higher in cals)
-and shredded chicken. (prepared however youwant.)
Put the pizza under your broiler for like 2 or 3 minutes (keep an eye don’t burn) to melt the cheese, and THEN STUFF YOUR FACE!!!
Okay hambones, listen up.
If you are “on a diet” but eating a sausage keesh(pie crust WTF) for breakfast, and a scone before lunch, and 5 serving sizes of healthy blue corn tortilla chips, and 480 calories worth of peanut butter and jelly on a fat pice of rasin toast= NEWSFLASH!!! YOUR FAT ASS IS GOING TO EXPAND BEYOND PROPORTIONS YOU COULD EVEN IMAGINE. (translation: you are going to gain back 5lbs.
5 mother fucking pounds:
- of your very hard work.
- worth of deprived days and nights.
- of REAL tears you cried over REAL donuts you REALLY didn’t eat.
- that didn’t magically sweat off.
- from fire burning death muscle pain,
- lost only by huffing AND NEARLY BLACKING OUT,on a spinning bike next to skinny bitch Jets cheerleaders at the gym. (true life)
- of temptations resisted.
Only to wake up one day after the holidaze and realize: THAT SOMEONE SNUCK IN, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND HOT GLUE GUNNED those 5 pounds BACK TO YOUR GUT.(and sloppily and disproportionately back to ONE of your ass cheeks, WTF)
I’ll be real,I won’t pretend that it was SO EASY LOSING THAT 18 POUNDS!! we just ‘CHANGED OUR LIVES’ and ‘made sustainable life choices’ and “ate clean” and “its not a diet its a life change”….all that mumbo jumbo that fat bitches say to their skinny friends who don’t understand what it ACTUALLY feels like, to stand in front of a tray of cake pops and feel tears well up, because they can’t have any.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
..what i’m getting at here, is WHEN YOU START EATING ridiculous amounts of food that you know you shouldn’t be eating, and can’t seem to get back “on track”…..and skip 2 weeks at the gym, and swear you’re going to go “tomorrow”
TRY TO REMEMBER all the horrible things you went through, to get just to that spot. to lose those 17 pounds, or those 12 pounds, or those 42 pounds. REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE slice of pizza you didn’t eat, every time you made a salad instead of potatoes, every time you sat in a meeting and didn’t have red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting from THAT BAKERY….every time you didn’t have a beer, every horrible, obnoxious conversation you over heard at the gym, every boot camp class you suffered through(without vomiting) all the icy hot you had to rub on your thighs, and every single t shirt you sweat through to GET THERE. Because for me, thats the only thing that works. None of this, “OH I’LL EAT IT TODAY, AND GET RIGHT BACK ON IT TOMORROW!!” ,BULLSHIT. Because at the end of the day, to feel like, ALL OF THAT WAS FOR NOTHING…and I MAY AS WELL HAVE EATEN THAT….is a shittier feeling than all the rest.
BACK AWAY FROM THE BAKED GOODS.
“WE CAN DO THIS! “(un natural positivity to round out this post.)
the hurricane made me lose 2 pounds.