I’ve been dead quiet around here, because ladies and gentlemen:
THAT HAPPENED. Not doing anything cool, ridiculous, or strenuous….Just WALKING ACROSS THE STREET. Oh new york city and your fucked up potholed crosswalks. Thanks for this.
So this happened, about 8 days ago, and i got really lucky this time, because i’ve only been out of commission about a week. This happens often with me, since i was like 15, i’ve sprained each ankle well over 10 times each, i’ve lost count. The last time i sprained it, (the other foot, btw) i was on crutches for almost 2 months. It was a nightmare, I almost lost my job (waiting tables at the time, suckkkk it.) and had to convince them to let me hostess so i could sit down and still make money. Nightmare.I took 2 days off this time, and then that rolled right into memorial day weekend, and i basically layed down for 3 days. I’m going a little crazy, i haven’t been able to work out, and its been SUPER depressing. I wanted to go to the gym and just get some arms in or something, but for a while there i couldn’t really walk without limping horribly, and couldn’t take trains really cuz up and down the stairs and a lot of walking for transfers- so i just said fuck it, and layed around. I’m SO OVER THAT now!
The swelling has gone down, and i’m walking pretty normally…i don’t think i’m quite ready to be able to zumba or even do something like a jumping jack ( too high impact, and its still pretty sore…) I wanted to ride my bike into work , but thinking about how thats the leg i use to drop to the ground at red lights and stuff, I don’t know about all that. i tried to practice the motion, and everytime i put my foot down on the floor, i get a slight pain. So no. no go. Today, i’m gonna try to get in the gym since i’m walking well enough to not feel so tired, and try the stationary bike, to see how that motion feels..i think because its no impact, it’ll be okay…And get some upper body working. I miss feeling sore?? I feel flabby and gross since i haven’t worked out.
The good news is, i managed to lose 1 lb DESPITE the fact that i haven’t worked out AT ALL. I kept my eating together, (though i drank a few too many coronas and ate NONSENSE food on memorial day) I thought stepping on the scale today i would have gained ! So yes i’m happy, though i feel super set back, and its SUPER fucking annoying.
Then i saw this, and i died laughing, because it is SO FUNNY!! and SOOOO TRUE. whenever i look back at like, pictures from highschool and see how SKINNY I WAS, i want to scream, because even then, i was always on a diet and worried about being too fat….i wish i could go back to my 16 year old self and tell her to cut the shit. (also possibly remove a Zebra Cake or two from her fucking hands.)
Keep it together bitches. ITS JUNE.
Just wanted to throw up a quick post to say HERE’s MY salad in a jar!! I think either i need a bigger jar, or i won’t really be doing this again (even though its sickengly cute)….But I feel like i needed more room at the top for my baby spinach and afraid of what its gonna look like come lunch time! I’ll let you know.
Bottom to Top:Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Blackened shrimp from the grill, Feta, and Baby spinach
I think too, i missed the point of this, i think you’re supposed to put the dressing on the bottom or something, so you don’t HAVE to bring another little container-but I’m still afraid of soggy whatever, so i still brought it on the side:
HOME MADE DRESSING: its just a little olive oil, a squeeze of lime, salt, pepper, thyme, and italian seasoning. super easy! sometimes i’ll use lemon instead of lime, and we can get super fancy later and talk about ones with mustard seeds, or dijon or sriracha or spicy stuff…but today, was the 30 second dressing from home. I never buy store bought anymore.
Not much else to say today…i, didn’t lose a pound last week, so i was super annoyed, even though i know BLAH BLAH BLAH all the reasons and that the scale isn’t THAT IMPORTANT AND BLAH BLAH BLAH…but i still get annoyed lol. Hoping for big loss this week. Gonna try to go really hard.
UGH Tuesday…and go!
WHATS UP BITCHES!!
1- its FRIDAY
2- I WEIGHED IN THIS MORNING, AND I LOST 3 MORE POUNDS -MAKING IT 19 TOTAL!!!!
since around March, when i RE-started but wasn’t really serious….and 10 lbs since April 12th, when i started going hard again.
i am EFFFFING THRILLED with this! Its just validation that what i’ve been doing IS WORKING, and i don’t have to question it all the time. i’m DEF. finally happy with this progress. If i can continue to lose at this rate, i’ll be at my 1st goal ON SCHEDULE, AS planned, by AUGUST, when my first vacation is!!! yay!!!! and then hopefully somewhere closer to my UGW by December, when our second trip is.
I need to remember how to HOLD ONTO this feeling, and STAY focused, and keep this motivation. What usually happens with me is, i’ll lose- and then i’ll hit a plateau, and then get discouraged because i don’t see numbers changing for a while, and then start eating like crap again, or getting lax in counting calories, and measuring and weighing food out. And then slowly, the scale will creep back up, and i’ll keep telling myself i’m gonna go hard again, but then i don’t, and make a billion excuses.
NOT THIS TIME!! I have determination i have NEVER had before, and motivation, and i WILL STICK with it this time. I don’t EVER want to have to START OVER again. I want to ride this wave, and i want to remember how good i feel, and i don’t want to give up.
I’m sore every day, and i’m eating really clean,and i feel FANTASTIC. i want to see how far i can take this by the time my trip rolls around. I am so excited to MAYBE take a bunch of pictures, and not CONSTANTLY BE WORRIED about angling myself so that my arms don’t look fat, or i don’t have double chins. I just want to feel free, and i think i’m on the right path.
Okay hambones, listen up.
If you are “on a diet” but eating a sausage keesh(pie crust WTF) for breakfast, and a scone before lunch, and 5 serving sizes of healthy blue corn tortilla chips, and 480 calories worth of peanut butter and jelly on a fat pice of rasin toast= NEWSFLASH!!! YOUR FAT ASS IS GOING TO EXPAND BEYOND PROPORTIONS YOU COULD EVEN IMAGINE. (translation: you are going to gain back 5lbs.
5 mother fucking pounds:
- of your very hard work.
- worth of deprived days and nights.
- of REAL tears you cried over REAL donuts you REALLY didn’t eat.
- that didn’t magically sweat off.
- from fire burning death muscle pain,
- lost only by huffing AND NEARLY BLACKING OUT,on a spinning bike next to skinny bitch Jets cheerleaders at the gym. (true life)
- of temptations resisted.
Only to wake up one day after the holidaze and realize: THAT SOMEONE SNUCK IN, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND HOT GLUE GUNNED those 5 pounds BACK TO YOUR GUT.(and sloppily and disproportionately back to ONE of your ass cheeks, WTF)
I’ll be real,I won’t pretend that it was SO EASY LOSING THAT 18 POUNDS!! we just ‘CHANGED OUR LIVES’ and ‘made sustainable life choices’ and “ate clean” and “its not a diet its a life change”….all that mumbo jumbo that fat bitches say to their skinny friends who don’t understand what it ACTUALLY feels like, to stand in front of a tray of cake pops and feel tears well up, because they can’t have any.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
..what i’m getting at here, is WHEN YOU START EATING ridiculous amounts of food that you know you shouldn’t be eating, and can’t seem to get back “on track”…..and skip 2 weeks at the gym, and swear you’re going to go “tomorrow”
TRY TO REMEMBER all the horrible things you went through, to get just to that spot. to lose those 17 pounds, or those 12 pounds, or those 42 pounds. REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE slice of pizza you didn’t eat, every time you made a salad instead of potatoes, every time you sat in a meeting and didn’t have red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting from THAT BAKERY….every time you didn’t have a beer, every horrible, obnoxious conversation you over heard at the gym, every boot camp class you suffered through(without vomiting) all the icy hot you had to rub on your thighs, and every single t shirt you sweat through to GET THERE. Because for me, thats the only thing that works. None of this, “OH I’LL EAT IT TODAY, AND GET RIGHT BACK ON IT TOMORROW!!” ,BULLSHIT. Because at the end of the day, to feel like, ALL OF THAT WAS FOR NOTHING…and I MAY AS WELL HAVE EATEN THAT….is a shittier feeling than all the rest.
BACK AWAY FROM THE BAKED GOODS.
“WE CAN DO THIS! “(un natural positivity to round out this post.)
the hurricane made me lose 2 pounds.