ALSO STARRING: SKINNY Steak and Eggs Tostadas.
OKAY. So SINCE i’m still on a tostada obsession: I whipped something up for breakfast this weekend, that was SO GOOD on saturday, i had to make it again sunday, and i made it a little different and realized that i could do anything with this base, and that it tasted JUST like refried beans that i LOVEEEE to spread on the bottom of a tostada,(and a million other things) but could ALSO be used as a base for dips, without lots of added extra crap, and the only REAL carb are the beans, and there’s no oil or anything. ENDLESS possibilities for ALL KIND OF AMAZING SHIT!!
Quick couple of pulses in the food processor: Onions, and red peppers.
NOTE: ON SATURDAY, i made this with Green peppers, and it was JUST as delicious. i kind of liked it better, was a little more peppery, as red peppers are a LITTLE bit sweeter. but still EQUALLY as delicious. And the color is nicer. I’m gonna try this with a million different things. I LOVE using peppers as a fake starch. I use them with onions to bulk up just about anything where i would put a potato in like, a fake hash or whatever. ITS GREAT.
THROW pulsed onions and peppers in a pan, press in garlic. (I AM OBSESSED with a garlic press. SO fast and easy, minced fresh garlic.)
Then throw black beans ( any beans are gonna be fantastic to do this with, esp. red, but i used what i had in the house!)
Just cook down for a few minutes, till the onions are translucent and the peppers have softened, and you take that raw harsh bite taste out of everything.
Throw sautéed mixture back into food processor. I ADDED (just cuz i was in the mood to experiment…): a serving of fat free cheddar, and a squirt of sriracha cream. (remember, i keep a squirt bottle of this made in my fridge. just a little fat free sour cream or greek yogurt, mixed with srirahca…a way to add a cream, or a little flavor with barely any cals)
BLEND. the lighting in that picture is odd, it looks like peanut butter lol- but it came out much darker: FINISHED PRODUCT OF SKINNY REFRIED BEANS :
AND REAL QUICK: Steak and Eggs Skinny Brunch Tostadas:
Use the refried beans as a bottom layer.
REAL quick: steak for a few minutes on either side, The beauty of this, is you need very little, and then it makes soo much when you throw it in the food processor to shred!! Pulse it 3 or 4 times, it’ll up so nicely this little amount was BARELY 4 ounces of meat, and made enough to OVERDO IT on 4 tostadas!!
Just layer shredded steak over your spread of “skinny refried beans”, throw an egg on top, sprinkle diced tomatoes, and hit it with a little sriracha cream or sour cream, or anything you want really. Nothing is delicious too.
OKAY. i’m done with the tostada posts for now, i promise. The star of this post was REALLY the nonrefried, Refried Beans.
ABSURD photo of where we have to put my dog, Dinno, while we’re cooking (this is from friday night’s Salmon Tartare…. recipe to come.)
He HAS to be right in the sightline of everything thats going on in the kitchen, or else he’s in and out, underfoot, wandering around, trying to inhale anything that falls off the counter, which is not only annoying, but can make him sick. EX: he’s constantly snarfs up onions, and then spits them out all over the floor, where ever he takes them to hide them, when realizes they’re gross and he doesn’t want to eat them.
My ridiculous husband started this nonsense, which at first made me mad, but now makes me laugh. He calls the dog RATATOUILLE now, Like the mouse in the movie, who wanted to be a chef, but noone would let him. Says its Dinno’s secret dream. I say he’s just a scavenge.
As you maybe can tell, i love stuff. I love gadgets, and stuff, and tools, and things and basically ANY DAMN THING that i can use to track, count, weigh, and will make life easier/is cute/when i look at it, makes me think of working out. Lord knows there’s enough to think about against me.
These kinds of things, also keep me motivated.
As you may know already, i have a FITBIT-(see earlier post, and a polar Ft4 heart rate monitor.Top 2 boxes above. And i’m NOT ashamed to say that a few of YOU FELLOW BLOGGERS inspired a few of these purchases. I love these things. Every day they are more motivating. The heart rate monitor has been A GAME CHANGER. i can’t tell you…WHILE i’m working out, if i know i’m not pushing myself enough, or i see a number, and know i wanna get to 100 more cals burned or something, it pushes me to move faster, push harder, jump more-etc. I LOVE that i can go back and look at them, compare for example, how long its taking me to ride to and from work,and how many cals i burn, and how its changing. Its great. If you don’t have one, get one- it’ll change your work outs forever.
Also, just knowing that i have it, makes me wanna
lay down on the couch and eat ice cream go use it, and work out.(annoying skinny girl voice.)
My newest addition to the STUFF TO MAKE YOU SKINNY family of gadgets and tools and junk: is my food scale!!
It’s Bamboo, and super helpful: it has amazing features like: you can easily switch from grams, to ounces, to ML, and it has a “tare” option, which lets you set a bowl or a glass or something down on it, and it levels if off to 0-to accurately ONLY weigh whats inside the glass or bowl. COOL RIGHT?? So you can actually see how many actual ounces of
booze orange juice or whatever you’re drinking.
I’VE BEEN WANTING ONE for so long, and i dont know why i didn’t just get one. It is SOOOO good!! AND ALSO, i thought i was going to find out that i was eating way more of certain things than i actually was- and its been THE TOTAL OPPOSITE! turns out i’ve been eating like, HALF the portions of certain things. Like string beans (featured in photo) I’ve been logging a cup, for example…and actually EATING like, the amount above. Same goes for chicken breasts, ground chicken, and fish. I was totally underestimating. Which brings me to 2 conclusions. 1– I don’t always need full huge servings, but 2-I’ve been getting headaches, and feeling a little too hungry on some days, after some meals- and now i know why. But this is fantastic. Its a great way to accurately cut calories on portions, or figure out how much of WHATEVER you’re eating or not eating. DEF. keeps you accountable. no more guessing game.
AND FINALLY: this keeps me motivated:
We were running around target last sunday, and found these suuuuppppperrrrrr cute dry erase markers, that hang on magnets on the fridge. I write down the lbs lost for that week ending on my little Leonx (THANKS MOM, you didn’t really think i could afford to BUY something lenox for my home, JUST BECAUSE, right?? a bitch is BROKE.) dry erase board.
DISCLAIMER: SUPER CHEESEY: I have to admit, this is something my husband started, a really long time ago, when i started down this weight loss road a couple of years ago, and i found that i enjoyed it SOOO much. I would come out of the bathroom from weigh in day-SUPER CORNY AND EXCITED, and tell him how many pounds i lost, and then he would write it down on this little thing. we stopped doing it, (because i got lazy and stopped losing weight, but this time- we’re in it to win it.)FASTFOWARD: RECENTLY, we moved into our new apartment and was heart broken, because i thought i lost this little thing. I JUST FOUND IT THE OTHER DAY! So we’ve just started writing them down again, starting with last week’s 4lb loss 🙂
stay strong, dumplings.<3
(WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT FOOD. why couldn’t i call you all treadmills, or something?!?!?!)
Oh HEY y’all. Don’t mind me, i’ve just been over here, trying to widdle myself down, and with the warm weather arriving in NYC, i have begun riding my bike, to and from work.
IT IS NOT EASY. ABOVE, you can see a few to and from ride calorie burns.
TOP LEFT: i think my first ride: To, and From.
TOP RIGHT: , my husband and i rode for a few hours one saturday, all the way downtown ( and then took the train back cuz we weren’t in the mood for the long haul back haha) BUT 1400 cals!! proud.
BOTTOM left: this mornings to work ( burned less cuz i made it quicker)
BOTTOM RIGHT: yesterday’s to work ( took a little longer, got lost. haha)
BUT as you can see, its a GREAT workout, and a super serene way to get to work. There’s no gross train people, no screaming begging homeless people, no 6 kids screaming and throwing rice crispies at each other, no PACKED crowded train with people shoving your face into the windows of the doors like its rush hour in china, and noones elbow in your neck. Its a beautiful way to get to work, and calms someone like me down a lot. Riding through traffic in manhattan is a REALLY stressful, but once you can get to the bike path and shoot all the way down, its gorgeous:
The only other thing you have to fear, are OTHER riders. Some cyclists in this damn city think they are in the tour de france every morning, on a shared bike path, with people AND dogs, AND bikes….they try to mow us down haha. But other than that, its really fun.
THAT BEING SAID: BBQ SEASON IS UPON US!!!! it is SO FUN to fire up the grill ( and i am blessed to have a backyard) and a ridiculously healthy way of eating that i plan to take FULL advantage of this season.
Here’s a little peek at the menu from the other night. NEVER MIND THE BOTTLE OF WHITE WINE. its my all time FAVORITE and it was a beautiful day, we were celebrating the start of the season with a few friends a little.( i was good and didn’t have too much. ) PLUS, i had walked home from work the night before-it was A HAULLLL- and burned over 900 calories. SO I DESERVED A SIP OR 2 OF VINO. SHUT UP.
never mind all that junk , we’re redoing the garden- But there’s some lovely grilled food for ya. Grilled corn, asparagus, peppers and onions. Whole fish. Shrimp. Last night, i made salmon and asparagus, with enough leftovers for todays lunch, so super excited.
Trying really hard to stay focused. I’ve got 2 big trips coming up this year. One in august, and one in december. I want to look REALLY good for both trips, I have a small goal in mind for August. But by december, i want to see REAL serious results.
STAY IN THE GAME BITCHES!
Its sunny today, OMG. that makes me super happy. I am the nastiest, most miserable bitch when its gray and rainy, i have 0 motivation to go to the gym, and all i want to do is hole up and eat chips on the couch, snarling at anyone who comes too close to try to take my bag away.
But when its sunny, i want to wear neon work out clothes that match and skip to the gym, and work out for hours and hours and eat quinoa and spinach!!!!
(not really, but at least DRAGGING my fat body there doesn’t seem like i’m being pulled toward the guillotine wrapped in chains.)
SO, i needed a new breakfast option at work. I am SO LUCKY, that where i work, has million free food options, like 4 cereals for breakfast, every kind of milk from fat free, 1%,2%,Whole, soy and almond……bagels, avocados, greek yogurts, granolas, the best bread on the planet to make toast(devil) with delivered, and tons of fresh fruit…apples, oranges, bananas etc. The problem is, when your’e trying to REALLY see numbers move on the scale, eating cereal every day, gets A- monotonous, and B- a little too carby. ALSO, even though i keep a measuring cup in my drawer, i always end up eating too much of it- and the rasin-bran-crunchy/golean-crunchy/grain-flax-superstar-whatever cereal , while good for you- is like 300 calories after you add milk, and all you had was cereal, and your’e left a little hungry. I also felt like it was TOO MANY carbs, and even though its early enough in the day, i feel like maybe its got something to do with not seeing the scale move. I felt like i was needing more protein/less carbs to start my day. Lastly, i wanted to cut back on the dairy. I usually use almond milk, but sometimes, if there isn’t any, i have to use regular, and then i feel bloated….SO CUT TO: the mini frittata!
I already carry a billion tupperware and baggies of food for lunch/snacks and whatever else in my massive bag, so why not one more, with breakfast in it.
THEN so many people started asking how to make them, when they really are the easiest thing in the world. Mix anything you want with eggs in a bowl, and pour them into a muffin tin. bake, baggie, and bring to work! Not brain science. But here goes:
MUFFIN TIN FRITTATAS:
here you’ll see, I’ve lined a muffin tine with cupcake holders, and after crisping up my turkey bacon (i like the “everyday thin and crispY”…its only 30 calories for 2 slices!)
i let them dry, and popped them in the food processor. HOME MADE BACON BITS. GOODNIGHT. OMG. also in the food processor, a little onions, and garlic. NO CHOPPING=HAPPIEST HUMAN ALIVE.
- 1. SUPER CUTE CUPCAKE HOLDERS.
i like getting to look at super colorful damask cupcake holders, because it makes me feel like i’m eating something really decadent. And when other people see them, they go OOOOOHHHH WHAT IS THAT! ALSO, they were 1.99 at home goods, so thats really why.
- 2. Drain black beans! RINSE them. get all that salty canned yuck off them. Unless you’re Mother Teresa and you plan on soaking and boiling your own beans. MORE POWER TO YOU. But for bitches who aint got time for all that noise, GOYA will do JUST fine.( i’m not on a high horse about organic lalalala… i have a packed schedule, gym after work 5 days a week, a full time job, a show, a husband and a dog. Its a miracle i find time to pull these recipes out of my ass at all.
3.Whisk together: 8 eggs, ( you can use egg whites if you are on a mission…but i need ALL the protein and flavor of the egg.), 1/4 cup of shredded fat free cheddar(which is the exact serving size, so spread out over 12 egg cups, is really nothing…just a little flavor…honestly, you could probably do without it and wouldn’t miss it, i may leave it out next time…) I threw in some chopped up heirloom tomatoes, Salt, and Pepper and :
4. 1 Chicken sausage, browned in the pan( just PAM spray, no oil!) I cut them up and tossed them in the pan. It looks like a lot, because i was making 2 sausages, one for my salad for the next day, and one for the frittatas.
Just pour your whisked together mixture right into the tins, and i put 2 little circles of sausage into each tin ( if you try to pour them in you’ll get like 3 in one, and none in some…so i just placed them in by hand. this takes like, 30 seconds.)
AND BAKE! for about 30 minutes, depending on how ghetto your oven is. Until they have that gold delicious color and look like this:
They rise a little bit, but not too much. They are AMAZING.
here’s BASICALLY nutritional info: each little muffin is about 87 calories, and 3 of them is 261 cals, which is the PERFECT breakfast! they fill you up cuz of the protein, and you feel like you are eating something illegal they taste so good.
You can eat them on the run, grab them to go, pack em, and store em. I love them!
RECIPE AT THE BOTTOM
So i got on the bullshit cauliflower fake pizza mashed potato bandwagon. AND IT WAS AMAZING!
Yesterday one of you lovely bloggers caught my attention with the cauliflower mania nonsense. I don’t know how it happened- but i fell down the rabbit hole and ended up on the other side of the world, googling cauliflower pizza crust.
I cannot stress 2 things to you enough. #1, i was SOOOO SKEPTICAL of this horseshit. and #2- it was 10000% DELICIOUS!!!!!
I said NO WAY . I am a pizza lover, i love dough and crunch and delicious, and i said this will NOT even taste good. I don’t even LIKE cauliflower. but all these photos (everywhere, especially if you hashtag it on instagram #cauliflowercrustpizza ) looked AMAZING. like golden brown crunchy discs sent from heaven with perfectly melted cheese.
IT IS a little more work than i thought it would be, because the cauliflower gets a little messy and turns into a damn scene, but it was SOOOO WORTH IT!! its literally more than half the calories of regular pizza, and it was SO GOOD!!
OKAY : My recipe:
For the Crust: half a head of cauliflower, 1/4 cup of mozzarella, 1 egg, a little sprinkle of parm cheese, any seasonings you want. I used Basil, a blended Italian seasoning, garlic salt, salt, pepper, and 5 or 6 cloves of garlic pressed in the garlic press….( you need it to really infuse flavor into the “dough”)
THIS ENTIRE PIZZA only took HALF a head of cauliflower:
Rough chop it, throw it in the blender to “rice” it….which just means grind it up as fine as you can get it…kind of so that it looks like cous cous, or smaller than rice. you want it really fluffy. take it out, and cook it for a few minutes, either in the microwave, for 5-8 minutes or in a skillet on the stove top with a little bit of olive oil. Personally i find that it gets m0re flavor that way, but i’m going to try the microwave way next time- i think it might be cleaner/faster/easier. When its soft, and you think its cooked, and its actually browning a little- take it off, throw it in the freezer to cool down a little bit.( i left it in for like 5 minutes….the reason is you don’t want to put an egg on something hot, because it will start to cook and curdle.) Then, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Strain the cauliflower into a dish towel or cheese cloth. you want to get as much water out as you can, and squeeze, squeeze squeeze! THEN, on a greased piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet, spread out your “dough” and create any shape or size you want. the trick here though, is the thinner you can get it- the crispier it will be. Its hard to get it even, and its easy to make holes in it, because its not really dough, so try to get it as even as possible, and as thin as possible.
THEN YOU BAKE. Now. Every recipe i read was like JUST BAKE FOR 15 MINUTES AND ITS DONE! i don’t know WHO WAS ON WHAT CRACK when they wrote that, but depending on ovens….this shit took 35-40 minutes. So its not quick. I thin i’m going to pre heat longer next time…and see if that makes a difference I’d like to get it down to like, 20 minutes. cuz a bitch don’t have time to be waiting for this nonsense while i’m damn near fainting in the kitchen trying to not to eat the whole bag of shredded cheese.
Once its crispy and firm ( you can kind of lift it off the paper without it feeling like its going to fall apart) and its golden brown, and looks like pizza crust……add your toppings of choice! I threw on some :
– tomato sauce (quick sauce that i whipped up…..just a small can of tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil, salt, pepper, and italian seasoning…i hateeeee pre seasoned jar sauce..ick.),
-low fat mozzarella and a little swiss and gruyer blend from trader joes (very little cuz its higher in cals)
-and shredded chicken. (prepared however youwant.)
Put the pizza under your broiler for like 2 or 3 minutes (keep an eye don’t burn) to melt the cheese, and THEN STUFF YOUR FACE!!!
Okay hambones, listen up.
If you are “on a diet” but eating a sausage keesh(pie crust WTF) for breakfast, and a scone before lunch, and 5 serving sizes of healthy blue corn tortilla chips, and 480 calories worth of peanut butter and jelly on a fat pice of rasin toast= NEWSFLASH!!! YOUR FAT ASS IS GOING TO EXPAND BEYOND PROPORTIONS YOU COULD EVEN IMAGINE. (translation: you are going to gain back 5lbs.
5 mother fucking pounds:
- of your very hard work.
- worth of deprived days and nights.
- of REAL tears you cried over REAL donuts you REALLY didn’t eat.
- that didn’t magically sweat off.
- from fire burning death muscle pain,
- lost only by huffing AND NEARLY BLACKING OUT,on a spinning bike next to skinny bitch Jets cheerleaders at the gym. (true life)
- of temptations resisted.
Only to wake up one day after the holidaze and realize: THAT SOMEONE SNUCK IN, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND HOT GLUE GUNNED those 5 pounds BACK TO YOUR GUT.(and sloppily and disproportionately back to ONE of your ass cheeks, WTF)
I’ll be real,I won’t pretend that it was SO EASY LOSING THAT 18 POUNDS!! we just ‘CHANGED OUR LIVES’ and ‘made sustainable life choices’ and “ate clean” and “its not a diet its a life change”….all that mumbo jumbo that fat bitches say to their skinny friends who don’t understand what it ACTUALLY feels like, to stand in front of a tray of cake pops and feel tears well up, because they can’t have any.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
..what i’m getting at here, is WHEN YOU START EATING ridiculous amounts of food that you know you shouldn’t be eating, and can’t seem to get back “on track”…..and skip 2 weeks at the gym, and swear you’re going to go “tomorrow”
TRY TO REMEMBER all the horrible things you went through, to get just to that spot. to lose those 17 pounds, or those 12 pounds, or those 42 pounds. REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE slice of pizza you didn’t eat, every time you made a salad instead of potatoes, every time you sat in a meeting and didn’t have red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting from THAT BAKERY….every time you didn’t have a beer, every horrible, obnoxious conversation you over heard at the gym, every boot camp class you suffered through(without vomiting) all the icy hot you had to rub on your thighs, and every single t shirt you sweat through to GET THERE. Because for me, thats the only thing that works. None of this, “OH I’LL EAT IT TODAY, AND GET RIGHT BACK ON IT TOMORROW!!” ,BULLSHIT. Because at the end of the day, to feel like, ALL OF THAT WAS FOR NOTHING…and I MAY AS WELL HAVE EATEN THAT….is a shittier feeling than all the rest.
BACK AWAY FROM THE BAKED GOODS.
“WE CAN DO THIS! “(un natural positivity to round out this post.)
the hurricane made me lose 2 pounds.